Wedding Traditions that are being broken
Over the years weddings have accumulated untold rules and regulations that have become part of tradition. Never to be broken. In fact books have been written to ensure that you do not make any faux pax’s when organising your wedding.
But times are changing. Not only are the traditional bridal parties changing to include same sex, cross cultural, cross religious people but couples are no longer leaving their homes to marry and set up a new house with the now newly legal partner. Society is changing rapidly and it is therefore no wonder that some traditions will fall by the way.
The bride’s parents should pay all
It was tradition for the bride’s parents to pay for the celebration and a fair number of items over and above this cost. This rule is being broken regularly now. Many couples marry late in life when their parents might not actually be alive anymore or where they are retired and lacking resources to pay for a large wedding.
It’s far more common for couples to pay for their own wedding. Of course they happily accept all contributions that are offered but it is no longer the accepted tradition that the bride’s parents need to pay. Even if they are still alive. It is after all about control of the event. If parents pay they tend to want to dictate what happens and couples are far more happy to determine their own wedding now.
Brides must wear white
In reality throughout the ages brides have not necessarily worn white. It is therefore not a cast in stone tradition. Besides this white does not really mean virginal. White became a tradition through Queen Victoria who married in white satin. It was a mark of wealth rather as it was very difficult to keep clothes clean and therefore white was not something one chose unless one had a string of attendants available to clean.
As bride you can therefore decide on anything that you would feel comfortable and happy to wear. Why restrict yourself to white. Not everybody looks good in white. In any case how about a gown that you could possibly wear again to an opera or other festivity. Why restrict yourself to wearing an outfit that has one outing only at a huge cost. And don’t count on it that a daughter you might have might want to wear it to her wedding.
Guests can’t wear white
Tina Turner certainly turned this tradition upside down when she chose to wear a dark green gown and requested her guests wear white for the ladies and black for the men. Of course many a bride would prefer not to be upstaged by a guest who has a lovelier white gown to wear. Still why not wear cream or white to a wedding. Just don’t aim to shine more than the person whose special day it is.
The Mother of the Bride can’t host the Shower
Etiquette ruled that a bride’s immediate family should not arrange the bridal shower. This was to stop the immediate family from appearing self-serving and prevent them from raking in the gifts. It was meant to provide a more neutral event.
Now that couples plan their own weddings it is not unusual to get all family to contribute and to partake in all activities including the bridal showers. Now that parents don’t pay anymore they could end up feeling left out if not included. On top of that showers are really more a gathering event rather than a gift bearing occasion. Most bridal couples are already set up in their homes. Bridal showers were originally planned for brides moving from their family home into their own home for the first time. This hardly applies any longer. That is in the developed world.
Other traditions might also not last
As with all traditions society changes and what might be something you feel you need to do now could be something nobody would dream of doing in ten or twenty years time. So if there is anything you feel uncomfortable doing, a tradition that doesn’t quite fit your personality or style, then scrap it. Be your own tradition maker, be your own person. Your wedding does not depend on a bunch of traditions to make it perfect.